Does Cosmpolitan Magazine get more liberal every day? Who chooses the articles they publish? We wonder if anyone on the Cosmo staff has actually graduated from college!
A recent article in Cosmo tells us that there are ways to get maximum pleasure without having sex.
Here are but a few:
1. Rachel Maddow telling me everything is going to be OK. I need a Rhodes scholar in a blazer to calm me down from the world’s insanity, and Rachel’s just the intersectional feminist to fit the bill.
Note: Cosmo is a women’s mag.
6. Girl-on-girl compliments. I’m talking “you tell me I look cute, I tell you you look cute” kind of action. This is the future liberals want.
Because jobs and not having your body parts blown to smithereens isn’t something that liberals are even remotely interested in.
13. Michelle Obama in any dress by any designer because there’s not a silhouette this Princeton graduate can’t obliterate. The Obamas deserve two categories on this list just like they got two terms. I said it.
Really? Any dress? We shudder at the thought!
15. More TV and movie characters that reflect how women actually speak and not some dude’s wet dream. We’re not sex robots, we’re human. Women can be wives and moms and daughters and girlfriends and doctors and lawyers and engineers and all of the above or none of the above. Women can be anything. And contrary to popular opinion, we’re never too old to be our true selves (or Leo’s wife, damn it). But we are too old for antiquated gender roles. It’s 2017. Manic pixie dream girls don’t exist but three-dimensional women do!
We’re pretty sure that the author isn’t a sex robot in some dude’s wet dream!
Chicks on the Right reports:
Cosmopolitan is well known for total garbage articles like “How to Blow Your Man (And Your Back Out)” and “Sexy Food I Can Stick Into Body Openings” Ok, ok…. I made those both up, but they’re definitely on brand.
Earlier this week they published this, and let me tell you folks… it might be their cringy-est yet.
So what does this chick think is waaaaay hotter than sex. Well…. hold on to your hats. Someone ACTUALLY wrote this.