Being mockingly called by the west, “Kim’s Miracle Cure“, the new drink on the market that is made from berries and magically capable of helping turn your drug or alcohol addictions into a sex addiction. Which is considered healthier.
Kim’s state-controlled Pyongyang Times boosted: “A large amount of microelements and physiological activators in the extract help excrete waste matters, fat and various poisonous substances flowing through blood, completely remove deposits inside the vessel walls, dilate capillary vessels and enhance flexibility of the walls. This health food is effective in curing cerebral haemorrhage, cerebral thrombosis and cerebral infarction, arteriosclerosis, arrhythmia, diabetes, liver cirrhosis, drug poisoning, headache and vertigo and in recovering sexual function.”
North Koreans are heavy-drinkers and users of crystal meth – with drugs and hard spirts brewed from potatoes made in many towns and villages.
The newspaper said the new compound would be used by Kim’s subjects and exported from North Korea to China, Mongolia and Russia.
It also said the regime had made a tincture from milkweed which helps rejuvenate blood – and is a cure for piles.
The dictator’s men in white coats have a long tradition of claiming to have invented cures for major diseases from plants.
Last year the Pyongyang Times revealed another stunning medical discovery – a medicine that cures cancer and loosens phlegm.
The potion is made from the Chinese cucumber plant and is injected into patients.
Jo Sun-ok, a scientist at the Academy of Koryo Medicine in North Korea’s capital Pyongyang, said: “It has been proved through clinical practices that the new injection has no side effects and it is especially efficacious for treating uterine, breast, gastric and liver cancers and pulmonary tuberculosis and diabetes.”
And Kim’s propaganda chiefs said they had discovered a cancer-curing elixir that also allows workers to toil until they are 90 – water.
The spring water which gushes from a mountain close to Pyongyang is said to have energy-giving properties.
It is now being bottled and sold to Kim’s 27million subjects to prevent cancer and ageing.
A gushing report on the qualities of the dictator’s life-saving liquid released by the regime revealed: “Native villagers call it a “clear water” that gives mysterious energy. Many people over 90 are still healthy and working on the field.
“Researchers recently found out the water consists of smaller molecules.
“There are nano tracks in human cell membrane and only smaller molecule water can pass it.
“Such water is absorbed rapidly into the human body to promote the metabolism of cells and works as an antioxidant to prevent the accumulation of peroxides, retard aging and prevent cancer.”