A CNN news anchor has been threatened with termination and possibly treason for spending a full 10 seconds of a broadcast without using the words “Trump” and “Russia” together in a sentence.
The shocking story was first reported this afternoon by the Appropriated Press.
The anchor, whose name is being withheld after the slightly-delayed broadcast was blacked out and mysteriously erased from DVR recorders across the United States, has apologized profusely for the break with policy.
“This is not the kind of news reporting that we want for our brand,” said a CNN VP off the record. “Our policy of fair and unbiased news should obviously include saying “Trump” and “Russia” together as many times as possible.
“Don Lemon recently came under fire from our office for waiting as long as 6 seconds between repeats of the word ‘Russia‘ during a story about Trump. 10 seconds is just beyond the pale. It is a threat to our undying support of Hillary Clinton, I mean, a threat to U.S. security,” he added.
It is also rumored that an MSNBC anchor told a friend she was considering going as long as 15 seconds of a broadcast without implicating Trump as a secret communist spy from Moscow, but gave up the ghost after being attacked by swarms of liberals on Twitter.