From the satire website DuhProgressive:
Speaking to reporters shortly before the White House’s annual Christmas Tree Lighting Thursday evening, Mrs. Obama declared Santa Claus one of the “chief promoters of diabetes and heart disease” in the United States, if not the world, saying the gift-givers’ obesity gives a “green light” for children to eat fattening foods like cookies, candy, and whole milk to their hearts’ content (and content).
“It’s time we ask ourselves: how many people would be alive today had they not believed in Santa Claus as children?” First Lady told reporters and attending school children on the White House’s Ellipse. “How healthy would Americans be today had they not accepted the example Santa has set for generations: that being overweight equals being jolly? …Really, how many people has Santa Claus killed?”